I woke up this morning in an uneasy place. My first recognizable thought was of the dream that I had just experienced before the music from my alarm clock jerked my mind awake. Strange dream, strange enough to have a struck a chord with me. I laid in bed, the darkness completely engulfing my view, savoring the emotions that washed over me as I recounted the images from my dream. I wanted to remember the dream, how I felt, how much it impacted me. Even now, sitting here almost 12 hours after the dream, that feeling is slipping away. At the time I knew it would happen, I just hoped that I could prolong the inevitable. Now instead, I'm in a fog. I don't know which way is right or left, up or down. I'm split between my logical self and my subconscious self about what the dream meant. It's funny, I'm sitting here trying to decode what my subconscious meant when I should be listening to my emotions. Rubbish. I'm a busy woman, I don't have time to give to myself, let alone to figure out what I want or need. All I feel day in and day out is fatigue. Adele's "Someone Like You" is blasting at me from my Mac's speakers, yet I feel nothing. I'm imagining myself 5 years ago and I know that the person I was then would have felt so much pain & sadness from this song. I would have felt something. It's funny, all it took was a dream to shake me from my core and bring me back to the reality that I have somehow lost my way along the path of adulthood.
A big slap in the face from my inner self to jolt me awake from the drowsy livelihood that I have lived 24/7 for the past few months. It stung, but I hear ya, loud and clear.
Thanks.
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