I woke up this morning in an uneasy place. My first recognizable thought was of the dream that I had just experienced before the music from my alarm clock jerked my mind awake. Strange dream, strange enough to have a struck a chord with me. I laid in bed, the darkness completely engulfing my view, savoring the emotions that washed over me as I recounted the images from my dream. I wanted to remember the dream, how I felt, how much it impacted me. Even now, sitting here almost 12 hours after the dream, that feeling is slipping away. At the time I knew it would happen, I just hoped that I could prolong the inevitable. Now instead, I'm in a fog. I don't know which way is right or left, up or down. I'm split between my logical self and my subconscious self about what the dream meant. It's funny, I'm sitting here trying to decode what my subconscious meant when I should be listening to my emotions. Rubbish. I'm a busy woman, I don't have time to give to myself, let alone to figure out what I want or need. All I feel day in and day out is fatigue. Adele's "Someone Like You" is blasting at me from my Mac's speakers, yet I feel nothing. I'm imagining myself 5 years ago and I know that the person I was then would have felt so much pain & sadness from this song. I would have felt something. It's funny, all it took was a dream to shake me from my core and bring me back to the reality that I have somehow lost my way along the path of adulthood.
A big slap in the face from my inner self to jolt me awake from the drowsy livelihood that I have lived 24/7 for the past few months. It stung, but I hear ya, loud and clear.
Thanks.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Family & love
iPhone snapshots of moments in my life with my loves.
I think I might want to make this a regular post. The further I find myself going into "adulthood", the harder it seems for me to pick up my camera. I used to be so into photography, it was my being, my calling. My life. But now, sitting here, after 8 hours of working on my feet and 2 more hours of farting around on the internet, I feel like I've lost myself in regards to photography. My grown-up life has taken the childhood out of me completely. Sometimes I wonder what happened. Then I panic and wonder WHEN it happened. Regardless, I will try (I know I've said it before and had meant it for a whole 20 minutes) to take more pictures. It may not be awesome SLR type pictures but baby steps people, baby steps!
I think I might want to make this a regular post. The further I find myself going into "adulthood", the harder it seems for me to pick up my camera. I used to be so into photography, it was my being, my calling. My life. But now, sitting here, after 8 hours of working on my feet and 2 more hours of farting around on the internet, I feel like I've lost myself in regards to photography. My grown-up life has taken the childhood out of me completely. Sometimes I wonder what happened. Then I panic and wonder WHEN it happened. Regardless, I will try (I know I've said it before and had meant it for a whole 20 minutes) to take more pictures. It may not be awesome SLR type pictures but baby steps people, baby steps!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Check-in
So yes, I've been slacking. I've neglected my little blog & cast it aside. I'll admit to it, and admitting is the first step. The second step would be to actually blog... let's check that off the list NOW.
I don't have much to report on at the moment even though there's been a lot of stuff that's been going on, but right now, after a long day of work, I don't think I can think of anything to blog about. So instead here are a couple of pictures of my new flowers that have invaded the sun room. Grant it that they're fake but that's besides the point. The point is, they look awesome & I love having them in the room. From someone who loves flowers but can't stand that they die, these two guys make a great addition to the room. Thanks in part to Ikea... but mostly to me for buying it and displaying it so beautifully in my house :)
Fabulous
I don't have much to report on at the moment even though there's been a lot of stuff that's been going on, but right now, after a long day of work, I don't think I can think of anything to blog about. So instead here are a couple of pictures of my new flowers that have invaded the sun room. Grant it that they're fake but that's besides the point. The point is, they look awesome & I love having them in the room. From someone who loves flowers but can't stand that they die, these two guys make a great addition to the room. Thanks in part to Ikea... but mostly to me for buying it and displaying it so beautifully in my house :)
Fabulous
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